Funny Quotes

I found some funny quotes which was so funny that I am posting them here.



Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”
(Miss Alabama - In the 1994 Miss USA contest)


“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
(Mariah Carey)


“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are.”
(Matt Lauer - On NBC’s Today Show, August 22)

“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
(Mayor David Dinkins - New York City - Answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.)


“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
(Brooke Shields - During an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.)


“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
(Mayor Marion Barry - Washington, DC)


“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”
(Jason Kidd - Upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks)


“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”
(Hillary Clinton - Commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.)


“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.”
(Charlie De Gaulle - Former French President)


“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
(Dan Quayle - Former U S. Vice-President)