Sunday, April 16, 2006

Ways To Annoy People

I was trying to find a funny joke to post on another blog and came across 101 way to annoy people so thought I might as well post a revised version on the way to annoy people on this blog.

So 29 ways to annoy people

1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

2. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

3. Sniffle incessantly.

4. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

5. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

6. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

7. Set alarms for random times.

8. Honk and wave to strangers.

9. Wear your pants backwards.


11. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

12. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

13. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

14. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

15. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

16. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

17. Ask people what gender they are.

18. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

19. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

20. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

21. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

22. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

23. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

24. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

25. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

26. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

27. Never make eye contact.

28. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

29. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.


Blogger Peceli and Wendy's Blog said...

Great list. The punch-line - yes I know someone in this household who does that! Laughs loudly and forgets to give the last lines of a joke! Peceli found a funny story on the internet - a vavalagi tourist was asked to preach in Kadavu and he needed a translator. It was Easter Sunday. The punchline of the story was - They took flowers to the grave, translated as - they took a bag of flour to the grave. He rises. Tranlated as - And a bag of rice too!
YOu know the custom of taking food to the home of the bereaved, so that's what was in the mind of the translator of course.
One annoyance is when someone stands behind you when you are on the computer and reads what you are keying in or reading. That really annoys me!

10:19 pm  

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